Lindsay Plays Baldi's Basics
by Flashlight237
Summary: What do you get when you have a rock-stupid girl play a game that she believes would teach her how to do stuff? This story will show you Lindsay playing that very game. Join Lindsay and a very unwilling friend as she takes on the challenging world of Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning! Rated T for some of Lindsay's stupid shenanigans and some minor use of profanity.


Lindsay was on her computer. She started up what she believed to be an educational game, not knowing what it really was. Lindsay turned to the camera and waved. "Hii..!" Lindsay said with her usual adorable smile and cute voice. "I'm Lindsay... So... Heather told me about this cool educational game called 'Baldi's Basics.' After a little exchange and the usual letting Heather jiggle my tank-top-covered breasts because I trust her, I decided to download the game. Sure enough it looks like it would be sooo much fun..!" Lindsay giggled. "Okay, I'm booting up the game now... And... Boom! Here we are: Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning! Whatever that meant!"

Then, Lindsay heard Baldi's voice. "Welcome to Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning! That's me!"

"Okay, here goes..." Lindsay clicked on the start button, then giggled. "OMG, Baldi got dogpiled by boxes." After her giggle fit, Lindsay clicked on Story Mode. Just then, the game started up. Lindsay can see Baldi waving to her.

"Oh, hi," Baldi said. "Welcome to my schoolhouse..!"

"Hello!" Lindsay waved back. "Let's see... Uhh..." Lindsay went into one of the blue doors. "Oh! What's that floating thing?" Lindsay walked up to the notebook, then clicked on it. Just then, Lindsay saw what looked like a green touchpad pop up. "Umm..."

"Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject: Math! Answer the three questions correctly and you might get something special. Just type the correct answer into the empty box! Press the ENTER key on your keyboard when you think you have the right answer. Problem 1: 2 plus 2 equals?"

"Uhhh..." Lindsay had no idea what to do. "Ummm... Oh my gosh! Why is this so hard..? There's gotta be a way to solve this..!" Lindsay thought for a moment. "Oh! I know!"

**Thirty Minutes Later**

Lindsay brought a burlap sack up to the room. The sack itself was squirming and mumbling gibberish. "Why is this thing so heavy and squirmy..? Nngh..! Ahh..!" Lindsay put the sack down right next to her computer.

Just then, a familiar head popped out of the sack. It was Courtney. "Lindsay! Why the hell would you kidnap me?!"

"Because I needed your help, Court! Come on, please..?"

Courtney sighed. "Fine. You should've just asked; no need to go over the top! Now, what do you need help with?"

"This!" Lindsay pointed at the math problem.

"Huh?" Courtney looked at the math problem, then immediately got an annoyed look on her face. "Are you fucking kidding me, Lindsay?"

"What?"

"You kidnapped me because you can't solve what I'm pretty sure is the easiest math problem there is? How do you function?"

"Hey..! I'm just like any normal girl..! I pay my taxes one leg at a time."

"Ugh..! Also, why are you playing that meme of a 'horror' game?" Courtney asked. "Don't you know that meme is dead by now?"

"What? There's a full version of the game in the works..!"

"Lindsay..! Ugh..! Just get on with it."

"Fine..! Uhh..." Lindsay typed in "5," then pressed Enter. Obviously, that was the wrong answer, which made Baldi get angry. "Hey..! How was that wrong?"

"Lindsay, you're really stupid. You know that, right?"

"Hey..! That's just mean..!" Lindsay pouted before looking at the next question. "1+1..? Uhh..." Lindsay typed in "11," but that was also wrong. "Oh, come on!" Lindsay then saw the third question. "0 minus 1?! Why does it have to be so hard?! Uhh..." Lindsay typed in "2147483647," which was obviously wrong.

Just then, the touchpad said "I hear math that bad!"

"Eep! Uhh..." Lindsay darted her eyes left to right. As soon as Lindsay heard Baldi slapping his ruler, Lindsay jumped. "Why is Baldi slapping his ruler? Is he one of those aliens who wear nothing but black? What are they called? Huns?"

"One, they're called 'nuns,' and two, they're not aliens! They're Catholic priestesses who are stricter than Chef whenever he gets in a bad mood. At least I'm pretty sure nuns are priestesses."

"I'm scared..." Lindsay said.

Courtney sighed. "Just get on with the game."

"Uhh..." Lindsay moved on to the other room. There, Lindsay found the 2nd notebook. There, Lindsay clicked on it, only to find more math problems. "Oh, come on! More of this hard math stuff?!" Lindsay pouted. "Ugh! Uhh... 3+3 is... 33." Wrong! "8-2 is... 8!" Another wrong answer. Just then, Lindsay came across a garbled mess of a problem. "Uhh... Corrin? Can you help me with this one..?"

"This better be good..!" Courtney looked at the monitor. "What the?! Oh, screw you, Baldi! That question's like asking Lindsay how C++ works!"

"Hey! I know my ABCs and my grades! F means fantastic! Plus that weird cross thingy isn't in the alphabet."

"No, Lindsay! F means you failed, Lindsay. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaailed. Not fantastic; faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaailed!"

"Oh, come on! F is the 6th letter in the alphabet, so F must be better than A."

"I swear to god..." Courtney shook her head.

"Uhh... I'll just skip that one and come back to it later." Lindsay pressed the Enter button. Thing was, the question got marked as wrong. "Oh, come on!" Lindsay pouted. Just then, Lindsay heard the ruler slapping louder, which made her squeal in fear. Lindsay made a run for it (in-game, not in real life). "Somebody help! There's an ugly bald man trying to kill me for doing absolutely nothing wrong!" Lindsay kept making a run for it until she found a broom. "Uhh... What is that..?"

Just then, the broom shouted, "Gotta sweep sweep sweep!"

"Eek! Okay then..!" Lindsay moved away from the broom. Lindsay made a run for the next classroom. However, Lindsay came across a very badly-drawn girl. "Um, is that what you get when an Enderman makes whoopie with a human?"

"Looks more like a banshee to me." Courtney said.

"Let's play..." The girl went up to Lindsay, then trapped her in a jump-rope loop. "Ready? Go!"

"Umm..." Lindsay pressed the Space Bar five times. Once that was done, Lindsay watched the girl move away while saying more garbled noise. "Okay, that's just creepy..."

About the time Lindsay got the third notebook, Lindsay booked it, only for an ugly cardboard cutout to approach her while saying "No running in the halls" in a very monotonous voice. "Eep!" Lindsay tried to run away, but the cutout captured her.

"15 Seconds." The cutout said. "Detention for you. When will you learn?"

"15 seconds?" Courtney chuckled. "That's more than your attention-span."

"Hey!" Lindsay shouted.

"What? It's true! Your memory is worse than a dog's, and dogs only have less than two minutes worth of memory in them."

"You're mean..!" Once the 15 seconds have passed, Lindsay bolted for the door. Just then, Baldi showed up. Lindsay tried to run from Baldi, but she was out of stamina and Baldi was close by. "Oh no!"

BZZT!

Frozen in fear, a frightened Lindsay had her mouth agape. Lindsay was stuck like that until the title screen appeared again. "Why did Baldi have to impale me with a ruler shoved up my butt..?"

"Isn't it obvious? Because you kept getting every problem wrong trying to solve everyone, you moron!"

"Nngh..!"

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

Lindsay pulled on a belt strap. Once the camera zoomed out, it was revealed that Lindsay had tied Courtney into a black leather sleepsack. Once Lindsay took her hands off Courtney, Courtney started struggling like a lion that got tricked into being put into a cage. "Lindsay! Why the hell did you put me into this stupid thing?!"

"Because you were being very mean to me..!" Lindsay replied.

"Hello! Your brain is the size of a bread crumb, and you almost have no common sense. How does that not raise any red flags to you?"

"I don't know any red flags, but I'm sure not seeing one being raised. Now, stay."

"Gah!" Courtney continued to struggle as Lindsay got back on her game.

**Two Hours Later**

The sacked Courtney was hitting her head against the wall after dealing with Lindsay's stupidity for over two hours. "Ugh..! Kill me..!" Just then, Lindsay managed to get something done.

"Congratulations!" Baldi said. "You found all seven notebooks! Now all you need to do is **GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!**" After that, Baldi let out a nasal laugh.

"Owie..! Why did you have to give me tinnitus..?"

After her hearing fit, Lindsay hauled ass. Lindsay went for the first exit, but that exit turned into a wall. "Eep!"

Tap. Tap. Tap. Baldi was speeding right towards Lindsay. Lindsay had to use a BSoda against Baldi so she can distance herself from Baldi as she went to the second exit. That exit, too, turned into a wall. At the same time, some noise that can only be described as a bear eating a police car siren played. "Come on..! Let me out of this killer schoolhouse..!" Lindsay kept moving along. Lindsay had to use a padlock to block Baldi off. Once she did, Lindsay ran for the third exit, which also turned into a wall as if magic (or a curse of some sorts) was happening in the place. "Come on..!"

Just then, there's the final stretch. Lindsay made a run for the cafeteria. As she did, Baldi came rushing behind her slapping his ruler into his left hand. Lindsay closed her eyes, fearing the inevitable as she ran for the fourth and final exit. Just then... The bear-siren noise stopped, and Lindsay heard no loud buzz from Baldi. Lindsay opened her eyes and saw that... She was at the end.

"Oh my gosh..! I beat the game..? YAY!" Lindsay grabbed Courtney, then held her in a tight hug like the adorable cutie Lindsay is.

"Lindsay..! Nngh..!" Courtney tried to squirm out of Lindsay's grip.

"Sorry... Now then. Let's close this- Huh?" Lindsay somehow moved the game's camera. "What's this.." Lindsay turned towards a green door that read "Baldi's Office." "Umm..." Lindsay went for the door. There, Lindsay saw a stretched out, disproportionate Baldi. Not only that, but Lindsay also saw a transparent man behind a desk. "Who are... EEP!"

Lindsay sat there as the transparent man spoke in nothing but mic-chewing garble and radio noises. After two-and-a-half minutes of noise, the game crashed.

"Uhh... Okay..? Well, it was fun, everyone, but I gotta go now. Man..! That was the hardest game I've ever played in my life. I bet it's even harder than that ninja game Sam was playing once. Ninja Gay Den? Yeah, I think that was it. Anyway, I gotta cuddle Courtney like a teddy bear now. I really need some comfort after all those Baldi-killings I had to endure... Okay, bye~"

Lindsay turned off the game. After that, Lindsay picked Courtney up, then put her in her bed. Lindsay got in bed with Courtney, then hugged her like she would with a teddy bear. Lindsay let out a cute sigh, loving the fact that she got to sleep with something, or rather someone soft after those scary two hours of Baldi's Basics. With that, this silly little misadventure has come to an end.


End file.
